Honor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing."Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.""Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?""Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.

New York City yesterday briefly renamed a portion of West 53rd St "U2 Way" in honor of the Irish rock group. The city was also going to bestow the same honor on David Bowie before realizing West 53rd St doesn't go both ways.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him.
Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrent for that dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

Leroy was a 17 year old ninth grader. Leroy got this homework assignment
in his Ebonics class. All he had to do was use each of the following words
in a sentence. The following is how he completed the assignment.
Rectum: I had two Caddilacs but my ol lady rectum.
Hotel: I gave my woman da crabs and da hotel evabody.
Odyssey: I told my bro, man, you odyssey da tits on da hoe.
Stain: My muda-in-law axed me if I'm stain for dinna agin.
Seldom: My cousin give me tickets to da Warriors game so I seldom.
Penis: I went to da docta an he hanned me a cup and said penis.
Foreclose: If I pay alimony dis munf, I'd have no muny foreclose.
Undermine: Dare's a fine lookin hoe livin in da partmunt undermine.
Disappointment: My parole offcer tel me if I miss disappointment he
gonna kill me
Tripoli: I was gonne buy my ol lady a bra but I coudnt find no
Tripoli
Income: I just got in bed wit dis hoe and income my wife
Honor: At da rape trial more...

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.

A man was charged with grand theft auto. After a lengthy trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day, however, the man returned to the judge who had presided over the hearing.

"Your honor, I want to swear out a warrent for that crooked lawyer of mine."

"What are you talking about?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal."

"Well, your honor," the defendant replied, "I didn't enough money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."