Hockey Jokes / Recent Jokes

10 It's Legal To Play Hockey Proffesionally
9 The Puck Is Always Hard
8 The Protective Equipment Is Reusable, And You Don't Even Have To Wash It
7 It Lasts A Full Hour
6 You Know You're Finished When The Buzzer Sounds
5 Periods Last Only 20 Minutes
4 A 2-On-1 And A 3-On-1 Is Not Uncommon
3 You Can Count On It At Least Twice A Week
2 Your Parents Cheer When You Score
1 You Can Tell Your Friends About

Why can't girls play hockey?

Because they have to change their pads every period!

Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.

A toddler with 8 limbs had successful surgery to remove four of those limbs. And thus the NHL lost the prospect of the greatest hockey goalie of all time.

The U.S. Women's Hockey team beat Canada to win its second consecutive World Hockey Championship title. In related news, it's been a very, very slow day in the world of sports.

Chicago saw warmer temperatures Friday, and most of the remaining ice on the ground has now melted. Area residents say they would be more excited, but someone keeps artificially cooling the ice where the Blackhawks play.

Background: The hockey world is buzzing as former Pittsburgh Penguins superstar Mario Lemieux is expected to announce that he is coming out of retirement to play with the team he now owns.
[AP] - In a shocking development from the hockey world, hockey legend and superstar Mario Lemieux announced his come-back to the sport in an emotional press-conference at Mellon Arena today.
Not more than twenty minutes afterward, the Penguin great was immediatly traded to the Chicago Blackhawks for Tony Amonte, Mikael Nylander, Dean McAmmond and several undisclosed draft picks.
Craig Patrick, Penguins' general manager, was asked to explain the dealing of his boss, "I just wanted to do it, because it's really ironic. He still owns the Penguins and everything, but now he plays for Chicago! I mean... whoa! That's weird!"
Lemieux, seen in the Mellon Arena parking lot rather livid after he learned of his trade, tried his best to ease the situation, "It's my own damn fault. more...