History Jokes / Recent Jokes
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track."
"What sort of question would you ask Doctor?"
"Well, you might ask them..."
"Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.
Which one?"
The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -
"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?"
"I must confess I don't know much about history."
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease."Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?""That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track.""What sort of question would you ask Doctor?""Well, you might ask them...""Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them.Which one?"The blonde thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh -"You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?""I must confess I don't know much about history."(DOH!)
This call was actually recorded during a session with AOL Tech Support Tech:
Internet Technical Support this is [removed] speaking. May I have your username please?
Female Customer: Yes I want to speak to the person in charge immediately!
Tech: Speaking. What can I do for you?
Female Customer: I want to complain about the pornographic bookmarks your company put in my web browser!
Tech: We didn't put any pornographic bookmarks in your web browser.
Female Customer: Oh yes you did! I'm looking at them right now!
(Tech remembers the Netscape history list and grins to himself)
Tech: Where exactly are these "bookmarks" located?
Female Customer: In Netscape!
Tech: And where exactly in Netscape would that be?
Female: In that little list that comes down when you click the little down arrow!
Tech: The one right above the Net Search more...
More examples of creativity provided by a 6th grade class during history tests:
1. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic
pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. 2. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 3. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a virgin, and Benjamin Franklin
were to 2 singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and
declared, "a horse divided against itself can not stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 4. Abraham Lincoln was more...
What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? I dont know, I wasnt invited!
Two guys who wanted to get a job at a computer company way out west decided they'd better get a college education so they could interact with intelligent people, learn to read books, think, and be contributing citizens of the global village.
They enrolled in the local junior college, and the first guy went in to see his advisor, who said, "Randy, I want you to take history, math, and logic."
"What's logic?" asked Randy.
"Well," said the professor, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"
"Why, yes, I do," replied Randy.
"OK," continued the professor, "logic tells me that you have a yard!"
"Amazing," gushed the young rube.
"And," continued the professor, "since you have a yard, logic tells me that you have a house."
"I do! I do!" exclaimed the boy.
"And," continued the professor, "if you have a house, you more...
Joe was having medical problems and went to see the Doctor. As usual, the Nurse got out his chart and went over medications and history. Then she asked him what his problems were that brought him in to see the doctor today. Joe said, "It is kind of personal and I would rather tell the doctor." The nurse said, "By telling me, it will speed things up as I will already have this written in your chart, so please proceed to tell me your problems." Joe said, "Well, OK, I am having trouble with my penis - - - - - -." At this, the nurses face turned red and she ran out of the room. Later, when the doctor came in, he told Joe that he had upset the nurse and Joe explained that he was only telling her what she asked for. "I know," said the doctor, "but next time just tell her that you have a problem with your ear and when I come in, we will correct anthing in the chart." "OK", said Joe.
Well, three days later, Joe returned on a more...