Heinekens Jokes

- Her 8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9: 00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9: 30 Light Breakfast 11: 00 Sunbathe 12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1: 45 Shopping 2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3: 00 Facial, massage, nap 7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10: 00 Make love 11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms - Him 6: 45 Alarm. 7: 00 Shower and massage. 7: 30 Blowjob. 7: 45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8: 15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8: 30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9: 30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11: 30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12: 30 Blowjob. 12: 45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2: 30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3: 30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six more...

The Perfect Day - Her 8: 45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9: 00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9: 30 Light Breakfast 11: 00 Sunbathe 12: 30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1: 45 Shopping 2: 30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs 3: 00 Facial, massage, nap 7: 30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing 10: 00 Make love 11: 30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms The Perfect Day - Him 6: 45 Alarm. 7: 00 Shower and massage. 7: 30 Blowjob. 7: 45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section. 8: 15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys. 8: 30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia. 9: 30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 11: 30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens. 12: 30 Blowjob. 12: 45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club. 2: 30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini. 3: 30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and more...

THE PERFECT DAY - HER
8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex - notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY - HIM
6:45 Alarm.
7:00-7:30 Shower and massage.
7:30-7:45 Blow-Job!
7:45-8:15 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30-12:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30-12:45 Blow-Job!
12:45-2:30 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30-6:15 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon more...