Height Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sam: "What's the height of stupidity?"
Henry: "I don't know, what's your height?"
Once during a Management training program, a team of Senior Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So these Managers went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.
They're falling off the ladders, dropping the measuring tape - the whole thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers, Re-erects the flagpole and walks straight-away.
After the Engineer has gone, one Manager turns to another and laughs "Isn't that just like an engineer? We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
Moral: No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you.
Q: Do you know what the height of mixed emotions is?
A: Watching your mother-in-law go over a cliff in your brand-new Mercedes.
An engineer, a mathmatician and an arts graduate were given the task of finding the height of a church steeple (the first to get the correct solution wins a $1000).
The engineer tried to remember things about differential pressures, but resorted to climbing the steeple and lowering a string on a plumb bob until it touched the ground and then climbed down and measured the length of the string.
The Mathematician layed out a reference line, measured the angle to the top of the steeple from both ends and worked out the height by trigonometry.
However, the arts graduate won the prize. He bought the vicar a beer in the local pub and he told him how high the church steeple was.
I found this joke someplace:
In middle school, I was always self-conscious about my height. Once I was asked out by a life-guard. I had never really stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes-one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's and run upstairs to let me know which shoes to wear. When doorbell rang I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me what I didn't want to hear: "Go barefoot."
Height of evaporation:
When a cow starts giving' powdered' milk. Height of stinginess:
Using both sides of toilet paper. Height of nonsense:
Telling a person to stand in the corner when the
room is circular. Height of curiosity:
A man looking through the keyhole when the
room is made of glass. Height of pessimism:
Going into a tunnel, seeing light from the opposite
side, and thinking it to be an on-coming train. Height of generosity:
Loose motions. Height of heights:
A person shitting on Mt. Everest to make it an
inch higher. Height of laziness:
A man shitting on the seashore and waiting for
the tide to wash the shit.
what is the height of sex?
Ans:A pregnant mother giving birth to pregnant daughter.