Hebonics Jokes

Phrase statements as questions. Instead of telling Ida she looks gorgeous, ask her, "How stunning do you have to look?" Instead of answering questions definitely, answer with another question. When someone asks how you feel, answer, "How should I feel?" Whenever possible, end questions with "or what?" This allows the other person to interject another question: "Has she grown up, or what?"; "Can you remember when she was just a baby, or what?" (About now, a spontaneous rendition of "Sunrise, Sunset" should be expected.) Begin questions with "What?" Example: "What, my kishka's not good enough for you?" Drop last word in sentence (which is typically a direct or indirect object): "What, do you want to get killed going alone? Ira will go with" (drop "you"). Move subject to end of sentences: "Is SHE getting heavy, that Esther?" Use "that" as a modifier to infer contempt: more...

Phrase statements as questions. Instead of telling Ida she looks gorgeous, ask her, "How stunning do you have to look?"
Instead of answering questions definitely, answer with another question. When someone asks how you feel, answer, "How should I feel?"
Whenever possible, end questions with "or what?" This allows the other person to interject another question: "Has she grown up, or what?"; "Can you remember when she was just a baby, or what?" (About now, a spontaneous rendition of "Sunrise, Sunset" should be expected.)
Begin questions with "What?" Example: "What, my kishka's not good enough for you?"
Drop last word in sentence (which is typically a direct or indirect object): "What, do you want to get killed going alone? Ira will go with" (drop "you").
Move subject to end of sentences: "Is SHE getting heavy, that Esther?"
Use "that" as a more...

The New York City school board has officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed' Hebonics', as a second language. Backers of the move say the city's School District is the first in the state to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and significant attribute of New York culture.

According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at New York University and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish.

Prof. Schollman explains, "In Hebonics, the response to any question Is usually another question -- plus a complaint that is implied or stated. Thus,' How are you?' may be answered, How should I be, with my feet?'"

Schollman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with "sh" or "shm" at the beginning: "Mountains,shmountains. Stay away. You more...