Headache Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was complaining to his coworker about a terrible headache he was experiencing. The coworker said, "When I have a bad headache, I just lay my head on my girlfriend's bosom for a while, and it goes away. You really should try it."
The next day, the man with the headache said to his coworker, "You know, your advice about how to get rid of my headache was great! After work last night, I did just exactly what you said, and my headache disappeared after just a little while! Oh, by the way, your girlfriend has a really nice apartment!"

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.
But I'm not allowed up on the couch!
Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!
Doc: Do you drink a lot?
Not really - I spill most of it!
Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?
Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head.
Then you'll have a bad headache.
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God!
Doc: When did this start?
Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the...
Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee!
Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST?
Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots?
Doc: I never make rash promises!
Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog!
Doc: So what's wrong with that?
I think I'm going to croak!

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a dog.Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.But I'm not allowed up on the couch! Doctor, Doctor You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking! Doc: Do you drink a lot? Not really - I spill most of it! Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Doc: Of course. Just take this hammer and smash yourself in the head.Then you'll have a bad headache.Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm God! Doc: When did this start? Well first I created the sun, then the earth, then the...Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! Doc: Have you ever tried it by taking the spoon out FIRST? Doctor, Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? Doc: I never make rash promises! Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog! Doc: So what's wrong with that? I think I'm going to croak!

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that's wonderful."
His wife then says, "You know, you haven't exactly been a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife, and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."
He goes into the bathroom more...

St. Mom's Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
Empty Nestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.
Peptobimbo - Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
Dumerol - When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
Flipitor - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Antiboyotics - When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better more...

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.
Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."
"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.
As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"
"Yes, I am," said the officer.
"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"

St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's
depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for
up to six hours.
Emptynestrogen
Highly effective suppository that
eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how
awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait
'til they moved out.
Peptobimbo
Liquid silicone for single women. Two
full cups swallowed before an evening out increases
breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting
Dumerol
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause
dangerously low I.Q., enhancing enjoyment of bar-style
country western music.
Flipitor
Increases life expectancy of commuters by
controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other
drivers.
Antiboyotics
When administered to teenage girls, is
highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone
lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin
Potent antiboyotic for older more...