Grape Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why do elephants have trunks? A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant? A: Wipe it off! Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants? A: None of the offspring survived.Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass? A: VERY attractive.Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard? A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag! Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road? A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road? A: He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes elephant grape 1Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber? A: Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler.Q: What do you give a seasick more...
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A. It let out a little wine!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble
with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation
diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you
go broke (the all-meat diet).
Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3
days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the
years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim.
Now the formula to their success is available to all
in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before
embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him
afterwards. Good Luck! !!
DAY ONE
-------
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape
jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest
on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly
over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,
and a glass of more...
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The
trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat
(the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the
liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet).
Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit
after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle
Diet.
Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds
are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to
all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor
before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing
him afterwards. Good Luck! !!
DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast
with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers;
dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear
the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,
and a glass more...
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they would look silly with glove compartments.
Q: What do you do when you come across an elephant?
A: Wipe it off!
Q: Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants?
A: None of the offspring survived.
Q: How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she’s lying down in tall grass?
A: VERY attractive.
Q: How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you’re yard?
A: The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag!
Q: What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
A: Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).
Q: What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
A: He stamped it to death and then said “Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! ”.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
A: Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes (elephant) (grape) 1
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a more...
On the first day of kindergarten, the teacher decided to do taste association with her class. "I'll blindfold you, give you a lifesaver and then you tell me what flavor it is," she instructed the students.
She gave them all a grape lifesaver and asked them what flavor it was. "Mmmmm, it's grape," the class answered.
"Very good," the teacher replied. She then gave them all a cherry lifesaver and they replied, "Mmmmm, it's cherry."
"Excellent," said the teacher. Next she gave them all a honey flavor lifesaver. The class seemed stumped by the strange taste, so the teacher said, "Ok, I'll give you a little hint. It's something your parents might call each other."
Billy immediately spit his out onto the floor and yelled, "Quick, everyone spit them out, they're ASSHOLES!"