Jelly Jokes

Once there were 3 guys, a Cuban, an American, and an Italian. So they worked together, and it was lunch time, so the American opens his lunch box and sees peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and he says, "If I get a peanut-butter jelly sandwich one more time I'm going to kill myself."
Then the Italian opens his lunch box and sees spaghetti and he says, "If I get spaghetti one more time I'm going to kill myself."
Lastly, the Cuban opens his lunch and sees black beans and he says, "If I get black beans one more time, I'm going to to do the same.
The next day the all open their lunch boxes, and the Cuban sees black beans again, so he kills himself, then the Italian sees spaghetti again, so he kills himself also. Lastly, the American sees peanut-butter and jelly sandwich again so he kills himself too.
Then, at the funeral, their wifes are talking and the American wife says "Oh..! he should at least told me about his lunch, that way he wouldn't more...

A man visits the doctor because he is due to have his first rectal examination.
The nurse tells him to get undressed behind the screen.
After putting on his gown, he notices there are three items on the table next to his bed- a tube of K-Y Jelly, a pair of medical latex gloves and a bottle of beer.
The doctor enters the room.
"I'm a little confused." The patient says to him, "I know what the K-Y Jelly and the gloves are for, but what's with the bottle of beer?""Nurse!" The doctor yells furiously, "I said a butt light!"

Why did the jelly wobble?
Because it saw the milk shake!

A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do not. We only eat the inner part, the crust is put in a container, later processed, transformed into flour and then sold to Sri Lanka. The Sri Lankan says nothing.
The American continues: Do you eat this jelly with the bread?
The Sri Lankan repeats: Of course.
The American: We do not. We eat our fresh fruits for breakfast; we keep all the peels and seeds in the containers. Later we process it, and transform it into jelly and then we sell it to Sri Lanka.

The Sri Lankan asks: And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?
The American: We throw them away, of course!
The Sri Lankan: We do not. We keep them in containers, process them, transform them in to chewing gum and more...

One time there was this woman who was very freaky. Instead of throwing away her old tampons, she put them in her closet. One day this guy who wasn't her husband was over, and they were gettin' it on. All of a sudden, her husband comes in the front door. She tells the guy to hide in the bedroom closet, and then she puts a chair in front of it so it couldn't be opened. Her husband comes upstairs with two tickets to Hawaii. They leave without packing anything, and are gone for a week. When they get back, her husband goes off to work and she runs up stairs to the closet. She apolgizes to him for leaving him in there. He calmy says,"That's alright. But if it wasn't for those jelly doughnuts in there, I would have starved."