Gladys Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gladys!
Gladys who!
Gladys Friday, arn't you! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gladys!
Gladys who!
Gladys E. Yew! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gladys!
Gladys who!
Gladys it's my last joke! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Gladys!
Gladys who!
Gladys the weekend, aren't you!

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It`s Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I`m not going to die a virgin... I`m going out and I`m not coming home `til I`ve been laid!!" Betty says, "Well, make sure you`re home by 10, so I don`t worry about you." 10 o`clock rolls around and there`s no sign of Gladys... 11 o`clock...12 o`clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flies open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom. Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys?" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself. "What is it, Gladys? What`s wrong?" asks Betty. "Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you`re gonna have the time of your life!!"

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"
Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you."
10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...12 o'clock...
Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom.
Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??"
No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.
"What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty.
"Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"

There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins. It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says, "I'm not going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not coming home 'til I've been laid!!"Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10 so I don't worry about you." 10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of Gladys... 11 o'clock...12 o'clock... Finally about 15 after 1 the front door flys open. In runs Gladys... straight to the bathroom.Betty goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay, Gladys??" No answer, so she opens the door and there sits Gladys with her panties around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself."What is it, Gladys??? What's wrong?" asks Betty."Betty, it was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out. When I find the other half you're gonna have the time of your life!!!"

In a nursing home, there is this old woman named Gladys who likes to walk around and flash people. She walks up to a nun, opens her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The nun says, "Gladys, you know youre not supposed to do that. Now go back to your room. Gladys starts walking back and sees the minister. She walks up to him, opens her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The minister is shocked and tells her to go back to her room. As she continues, she sees an old man lying on the bed. She walks in, flashes him, and yells "Super Pussy!" The man slowly turns his head and says, "Thanks, I think Ill have the soup."

A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.Well, you know how she is. "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"

Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store.
Pete says to the salesman, "We really like it but I don't think we can afford it."
The salesman says, "You just make a small down payment... then you don't make another payment for six months."
Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and says, "Who told you about us?"