George Bush Jokes / Recent Jokes

Former President George W. Bush threw out the first pitch before the Texas Rangers' home opener. The Rangers went on to win the game, even though they had fewer runs.

The AP reported that Turkmenistan's authoritarian President Saparmurat Niyazov died of cardiac arrest. George Bush responded by accusing the AP of making up countries.

The Pentagon is recommending President Bush add 92,000 soldiers to the military over the next five years. Bush responded by saying, "Now where are we going to get that many poor people?"

President Bush: If I knew there really was not any nuclear weapons in North Korea, and we could kick their ass and if they had something that would have made me and my friends very, very, rich like diamonds, oil, gold I would send the troops in like we were saving the world from Evil. But, since North Korea has a real nuke, and the leader is really evil and crazy and a real threat to the world. Screw it. We are not going.

Karl Rove says that President Bush would veto bills allowing expanded embryonic stem-cell research, saying "We were all an embryo at one point."
But look what happened to some of those embroys--they grew up to become Karl Rove and President Bush.

PS Is anyone looking into directing research into discovering which embryos will turn into evil douchebags?

On September 10th, George and Lady Bush laid wreaths
for the anniversary of 9/11.

Outgoing U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan gave a farewell address in Missouri, where the audience was packed – perhaps with people trying to get their first glimpse of a black man.

Annan chose to speak at the Truman Presidential Library to contrast the presidential styles of Harry Truman, who ended a just war using the bomb, with George W. Bush, whose war ended up just bombing.

A career statesman, Annan used judicious language in his criticism of the Bush administration. Here then is a dictionary of diplomatic doublespeak:

When Annan said, “America must not sacrifice its democratic ideals while waging war against terrorism,” he meant, “The President is a douchebag.”

When Annan said, “No nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over all others,” he meant, “No seriously, he’s a douchebag.”

And when Annan concluded, “The U.S. has a special responsibility to the world because it continues to have extraordinary more...