Geography Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A lady from California purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts.

    In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. He listened to her story then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded,' What took you so long?' He replied,' Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.'

    I couldn't work out whether to laugh or be offended by some of these!

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
    1.Two World Wars and One World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah.
    2.Proper beer
    3.You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
    4.You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
    5.Union jack underpants.
    6.Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
    7.You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
    8.Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
    9.Ditto changing underwear
    10.Beats being Welsh.
    10a. Or Scottish

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
    1.When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
    2.Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
    3.You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
    4.If there's a war you can surrender really early.
    5.You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on SBS
    6.You can more...

    There are three guys walking together along the Welsh/English border...a Welshman, a Scot, and an Englishman. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out,' I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes.'

    To this, the Scot says' I am a sheep herder. My dad's a sheep herder, his dad was a sheep herder, and my son will be one too. I want my country to be full of lovely sheep farms'...' FOOM!' all the land in Scotland was full of an infinite supply of sheep farms.

    The Englishman was amazed. He said' I want a wall around England to keep those damned Scots and Welsh out'...' FOOM!!' there was a wall around England.

    The Welshman says' Tell me more about this wall.'

    The genie says' Well, its about 200 feet high, 100 feet thick, it goes all around England, and nothing can get in or out.'

    After a moment of consideration, the Welshman says' Fill it with water.'

    A German tourist walks into a McDonald's in New York City and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him a verbal jab,' They don't serve beer here, you moron!'

    The German fellow felt embarrassed, however he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to chuckle.' And what's so funny?' the New Yorker demands.

    'Oh, nothing really, I just realized how stupid you are. You came here for the food!'

    You might be from the Northwest if you:
    Feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

    Use the expression "sun break" and know what it means.

    Know more than 10 ways to order coffee (and know different parts of town by the espresso joints).

    Know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

    Feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

    Stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

    Consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it's not a real mountain.

    Complain about Californians, as you sell one your house for twice its value.

    Can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best Coffee, and Veneto's.

    Know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

    Know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, and Willamette.

    Consider swimming an indoor more...

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