Genie Jokes / Recent Jokes

An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first time, and inthe center of the tomb there is a lamp. So he picked it up and startedto rub the dirt off of it, and out came a genie out of the lamp and hesaid "I want to know the person you hate the most"The explorer said "Thats gotta be my ex-wife. Why?""I am a cursed genie, I will grant you three wishes but whatever youwish for your ex-wife will get double the amount.""OK, I wish for a billion dollars""Granted, but your ex-wife gets two billion""I wish for a mansion in California with a swimming pool, and tenniscourts, everything""Granted your ex-wife gets two. This is your final wish"The explorer walked around the room and came back to the genie with astick and said "Ya see this stick, Id like you to beat me half to death."

A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie.
"I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch."
"What catch?" the man asked.
The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double the wish you were granted."
"Well, I can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the genie.
"Well, I've always wanted a Ferrari!"
POOF! A Ferrari appeared in front of the man.
"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO Ferraris," said the genie. "Next wish?"
"I'd love a million dollars," replied the man.
POOF! One million dollars appeared at his feet.
"Now every lawyer in the world has TWO million dollars," said the genie.
"Well, that's okay, as long as I've got my more...

Three girls are stuck on a mountain, blonde, red-head, and a brown-haired girl. They all have a dream about a genie. The genie says"The next thing you say, you will become." So the red-head says "Fish" and swims away in the shallow stream. The brown-hairedgirl says "Bird" and flys away.The blonde trips over a rock and says "crap" and turns into a pile of poo!

This man walks into a bar and see a 12 inch pianist playing the piano. He walks up to the manager at the bar and asked wher he got the pianist. The manager said there was a genie on the other side of the room. So the guy goes over to the genie and said he wanted a million BUCKS. All of a sudden there was a million DUCKS. He goes over to the manager and told him what happened and the manager said he was a bit muddled up because he got a 12inch peanist. (get it was suppose to get a 12 inch penis)

While he was rooting around in the basement, a man found a magic lamp. When he rubbed it, a genie emerged in a huge cloud of pink smoke.
"I am the all-powerful genie. I shall grant you one wish." The man thought about this, and decided that if there was one thing he couldn't get enough of, it was wine.
"I wish I could pee wine. That's my wish."
"Granted." And the genie disappeared. Later that day, the man's wife came home to find her husband naked, holding a glass.
"Why only one glass?" asked her wife.
"You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

A Mexican, an Asian, an African, and an American all somehow come across a genie at the same time. They rub the lamp and the genie pops out and agrees to grant them all one wish each. The genie turns to the Mexican and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all of my people could return to Mexico and live without poverty and wars."
With that, the Mexican disappeared. The genie then turns to the Asian and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all my people could go return to our countries in Asia and live in peace and happiness."
And the Asian disappears. The genie next asked the African what he would like.
"I wish that myself and all of my African Brothers and Sisters could return to our homelands in Africa and live in wealth and be bothered no more by the rest of the world."
With that, the African disappears. The genie turns to the American and asks what he wishes for.
"Before I make my wish, am I to more...

Three men, two brunettes and a blond, are being chased by a tiger through the jungle. They get to a river and have two choices: 1. Get across the river without being eaten by pirannhas or 2. Get eaten by the tiger.
They spot a genie and the genie says I can grant you one wish..
The first blond man thinks "I wish I can get across safely." He swims across and makes it without a scratch.
The second blond man says "I want to be even smarter than the first man." He climbed onto a raft and paddled across.
The brunette thinks "I want to be the smartest of them all". Instantly, he turned into a woman, and she walked across a nearby bridge.