Gelt Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    'Twas the night before Chanukah, as it is said
    And Santa was sitting and hocking his head
    He had all the toys wrapped up nice in his zeckel
    For maidlach and boys to give each one a peckel
    The reindeer were saddled and ready to fly
    Like a crew of brave astronauts all through the sky
    But Santa was starving to eat a good meichel
    Some regular food that would stick to his beichel
    Not plum cakes or mincemeat or peppermint candy
    But some kosher cooking he thought would be dandy
    So he called to his reindeer, "Hey, kinder, let's go
    To a Jewish balbusta and don't be so slow."
    The house had no chimney, so he went through the door
    And kissed the mezzuzah and jumped on the floor
    Then the man of the house said, "Santa you devil
    Come on, don't be shy and see our split level
    The night is still early, there's plenty of zeit
    So come in the den and please have a bite
    If only we knew you were coming, more...

    'Twas the night before Chanukah, boychiks and maidels,
    Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels.
    The menorah was set on the chimney, just right,
    In the kitchen my Bubbe hut gechapt a bite.
    Salami, pastrami, a glessala tay
    and zayerah pickles with bagels, oy vay!
    Gezunt and geschmacht, the kindelech felt,
    while dreaming of tegelach and Chanukah gelt.

    The clock on the mantle it sure was a tickin',
    and Bubbe was serving a schtickala chicken.
    A tumult arose like a thousand bruchas,
    Santa had fallen and broken his tuchas.
    I put on my slippers, eins, tsvay, drei,
    while Bubba was now on the herring and rye.
    I grabbed my robe and buttoned my gotkes,
    While Bubbe was so busy, devouring those latkes.

    To the window I ran and to my surprise,
    A little red yarmulke greeted my eyes.
    When he got to the door and saw our menorah,
    "Yiddishe kinder," he said, more...

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