Gamble Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny likes to gamble.
One day his dad gets a new job so his family has to move to a new city.
Johnny's daddy thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling."
So he calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow but he likes to gamble so you'll have to keep an eye on him."
The teacher says OK, she can handle it.
The next day Johnny walks into class and hands the teacher an apple and says, "Hi, my name is Johnny."
She says yes I know who you are.
Johnny smiles and says, "I bet you ten dollars you've got a mole on your butt."
The teacher thinks that she will break his little gambling problem so she takes him up on the bet.
She pulls her pants down and shows him her butt and there was no mole.
That afternoon, Johnny goes home and tells his dad that he lost ten dollars to the teacher and why.
So his dad calls the teacher and says, "Johnny said more...

"I can't believe my terrible fate," cried Cu Teo. When his friends asked what was the matter, he replied "My daughter has gone off and married that loser who doesn't know how to drink or gamble." "Then what's the problem?" they asked. "You should be glad that your son-in-law doesn't drink or gamble." "Who said he doesn't drink or gamble? He does both. I said he doesn't know how to do either one properly."

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum said, "No." The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife cansee what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

"I can't believe my terrible fate," cried Thomas. When his friends asked what was the matter, he replied, "My daughter has gone off and married that loser who doesn't know how to drink or gamble.""Then what's the problem?" they asked. "You should be glad that your son-in-law doesn't drink or gamble." "Who said he doesn't drink or gamble? He does both. I said he doesn't know how to do either one properly."

A bum asks a man for $2. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"The bum said, "No."The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"The bum said, "No."Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife cansee what happens to a man who doesnt drink or gamble?"

A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the man asked.

"No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need everything I can get just to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?" the man asked.

"What disease would I get for ten more...

A CONSTABLE nabbed four boys and charged them for gambling in a public place. He asked the first, "What were you up to?"
"Nothing Sir," replied the boy. "I just happened to be passing this way."
"And you?" he asked the second boy.
"Sir, I was waiting for the bus."
The policeman turned to the third boy. "Sir, I don't even know how to play cards, how could I gamble on them?"
The constable let the boys go but caught the fourth boy who had the pack of cards with him. "Then it must be you who was gambling."
"No, Sir, there was no one I could gamble with," he replied.