Gabriel Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter asked him, "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."
The Lawyer said, "Wait, wait! There's more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter."
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."

On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said "Today I am going to create a land called Canada.It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty - it shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats and eagles, and beautiful sparkly lakes bountiful with carp and trout. There shall be forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth.""But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?""No, not really." God replied..."Just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them!"

On the sixth day God turned to the Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains full of mountain goats, and eagles, beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and rivers stocked with salmon."
God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so as to make the inhabitants prosper, I shall call these inhabitants Canadians, and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth." "But Lord," asked Gabriel, "don't you think you are being too generous to these Canadians?"
"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbors I am going to give them."

A lawyer died and arrived at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter asked him, “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven? ”
The lawyer thought a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street. ”
Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the records, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that it was true.
Saint Peter said, “Well, that’s fine, but it’s not really quite enough to get you into Heaven. ”
The Lawyer said, “Wait, wait! There’s more! Three years ago, I also gave a homeless person a quarter. ”
Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who, after a moment, nodded back to affirm that it was true.
Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow? ”
Gabriel gave the lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, “Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell. ”

A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"

The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true.

Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."

The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified.

Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?"

Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."