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POEM # 1
Roses are red,
Pickles are green,
I love your legs and what's between.
POEM # 2
Roses are red,
Grass is green,
Open your legs,
And I'll fuck you clean.
POEM # 3
I like your style,
I like your class,
but most of all I like your ass.
POEM # 4
Im a cool girl, in a cool town,
It takes a real mother fucker to put me down.
POEM # 5
Kissing is a habit,
Fucking is a game,
Guys get all the pleasure,
Girls get all the pain.
The guy says I love you,
You believe it's true,
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says "to hell with you".
10 minutes of pleasure,
9 monthes in pain,
3 days in hospital,
A baby without a name.
The baby is a bastard,
The mother is a whore,
This never wouldn't have happened,
If the rubber hadn't torn.
POEM # 6
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 7
Smoke a smoke,
Not a butt;
Fuck a more...

Everybody starts out with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before the luck runs out.

One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, was really friendly.

So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,' The Law of the Garbage Truck'

He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the routine life." more...

Three Kids Were Playing. When The Conversation Began- First Kid: Oh God, I Want A Room Full Of Toys.
Second Kid: I Want A Room Full Of Chocolates.
Third Kid: Oh God, Please Grant The Keys Of Both These Rooms.

A restaurant full of lawyers was held hostage.
The bad guys threatened that, until all their demands were met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys... all on different limbs,... at different levels,... some climbing up. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

Not only rude, but ugly too.

Not playing with / dealing from a full deck (-- not even in the game).

Not running on full thrusters.

Not shooting pool on a level table.

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree / light in the harbor.

Not the full quid.

Not the same since they took him off his medication.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer / tool in the shed.

Not Turing equivalent.

Not wrapped too tight.

Nothing between the stethoscopes.

Nothing on her radar.

Numb as a post / pounded thumb.

Number' n a hake. (New England expression; a notoriously stupid fish.)

Nutty as a fruitcake.