Fucked Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this old old old old lady and she had this parrot and wanted him to learn some new words for church.
So the first day they went out they saw these two ladies fighting and the parrot heard on of them say “Your a mother fucking liar! ”.
The second day they went out they saw these two boys playing ball and one of them hit the ball right across the other boy’s head and he knelled down and said “If you would of hit me with that ball, I would of fucked you up! ”.
The third day they went out to the race tracks and a rider fell off the horse and another rider said “Just kick ’em in the ass and he’ll get up”.
So it was Sunday; Church day and the preacher said “The Lord is with us”, and the parrot said “Your a mother fucking liar! ”.
The preacher then threw a bible and just missed the parrot and the parrot kneeled down and said “If you would of hit me with that bible I would of fucked you up! ”.
The old lady fainted and the more...

This is one that I picked up off a bathroom wall while I was in the Navy.
I fucked in France,
I fucked in Spain.
I fucked up and down
the coast of Maine.
But I'll never be happy
I'll nerve be free.
Till I fucked the Navy
like the Navy fucked me.

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotchman sitting on a beach notice a mermaid sitting on a rock. The Englishman approaches her and says' Have you ever been kissed?' No says the Mermaid. He kisses her and she likes it. after a while the Scotchman approaches her and says' Have you ever been fondled?'. She says no and he fondles her, much to her delight. After onother while the irishman approaces her and asks' Have you ever been fucked?. she says no.' Well you are fucked now because the tide's gone out.

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck".. Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: 1. Greetings more...

How can ya tell when a woman has fucked too much? Ya put yer thumb in her ass, AND yer middle-finger in her cunt...Now, if ya can SNAP yer fingers, ya know she's been fucking too much..

The FUCK word!
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "Fuck." It is the one magical word, which, just by it's sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (Mary doesn't really give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is really fucking interested in John); and as a noun, (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you see, there are very few words with the versatility of "Fuck."
Besides It's sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:
It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business - "How did more...

The FUCK word! Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the Englishlanguage is the word "Fuck." It is the one magical word, which, just by it's sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate.In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (Mary doesn't really give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is really fucking interested in John); and as a noun, (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you see, there are veryfew words with the versatility of "Fuck."Besides It's sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used todescribe many situations:It can be used in an anatomical description - "He's a fucking asshole."It can be used to tell time - "It's five fucking thirty."It can be used in business - "How did I end up with this more...