Friar Jokes / Recent Jokes

A signboard on a halwai shop reads: "Credit only to those above 85 if accompanied by both parents."
Order of Monks "A silent Order of Monks is allowed to eat only porridge and speak just once a month. One month, Friar Albert stood up and said, "I hate porridge." A month of silence passes by and Friar Barnaby stands to say, "I like porridge." Another silent month goes by when Head Master Geoff rises and says...
"Would you two stop this constant bickering!"

I owe this 'gem' to my younger daughter.
There was a friar who decided to open a florist shop to help raise money for his church. The shop was an instant success. But the friar grew to like being a florist and spent less and less time at his church and more and more time at the florist shop.
The church protested and asked the friar to spend less of his time at the shop. But the friar wouldn't listen and now spent all of his time at the florist shop. He'd grown very fond of being a florist.
The church decided to act. So Hugh the Ogre was sent to the friar. Hugh the Ogre placed a very powerful spell on the friar and the friar, accordingly, returned to the church.
The moral of the story is - are you ready for this? - only 'Hugh can prevent florist friars'.

A new monk joins the trapist order and takes a vow of silence. He is however allowed to speak every ten years.
After ten years he is summoned to see the Friar.
"It is ten years since you last spoke. Do you have anything to say?" says the friar.
"Well yes" replies the monk, "The bed is a little hard, could I have an extra blanket?"
Ten years after this it is time to speak again.
"What do you have to say?" says the friar.
"Well" says the monk "I wonder if we could have a little more milk with our cornflakes in the morning?"
Ten years after this it is time once again to speak.
"What do you have to say this time?" asks the friar.
"I've been thinking," says the monk, "I've been here 30 years and I'm really not sure I'm suited to the life. I think I would like to leave"
"Thank God for that," says the friar, "You've done nothing but complain since more...