Freda Jokes / Recent Jokes

For months, Mrs. Pitzel had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Freda. "Milty, she's a real gypsy, and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them! Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace.
Milty, for twenty dollars you can talk to your zayde (grandfather) who you misses so much!"
Milton Pitzel could not resist her appeal. At the very next seance at Madam Freda's Seance Parlor, Milty sat under the colored light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side.
All were humming, "Oooom, oooom, tonka tooom."
Madame Freda, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. "My medium...Vashtri," she called. "Come in. Who is that with you? Who? Mr. Pitzel? Milton Pitzel's Zayde?"
Milty swallowed the lump in his throat and called, "Grampa? Zayde?"
"Ah, Milteleh?" a thin voice more...

For months, Mrs. Pitzel had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Freda. "Milty, she's a real gypsy, and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them! Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace.Milty, for twenty dollars you can talk to your zayde (grandfather) who you misses so much!"Milton Pitzel could not resist her appeal. At the very next seance at Madam Freda's Seance Parlor, Milty sat under the colored light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side.All were humming, "Oooom, oooom, tonka tooom."Madame Freda, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. "My medium...Vashtri," she called. "Come in. Who is that with you? Who? Mr. Pitzel? Milton Pitzel's Zayde?"Milty swallowed the lump in his throat and called, "Grampa? Zayde?""Ah, Milteleh?" a thin voice quavered."Yes! Yes!" cried Milty. more...

Get up at once
Freda goes into her son`s bedroom. "You`ve got to get up for school, Yossi."
Yossi pulls the blankets over his head and replies, "I don`t want to go to school, mother."
"But you have to," Freda said.
"I don`t want to. The teachers don`t like me and all the kids make fun of me." Freda pulls the blanket back a little, "Yossi, you don`t have any choice. You`ve got to get up for school."
"OK, OK", says Yossi, "But only if you give me one very good reason!"
"You`re 52 years old and you`re the headmaster."

Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would they?

The change maker
Freda was looking very sad whilst talking to her best friend Kitty. "Ever since we got married, Robert has been trying to change me. That’s all he seems to do. He got me to stop drinking, cut down significantly on my smoking, and he stopped me going shopping at Brent Cross at all hours of the day. He taught me how to dress well, how to enjoy the fine arts, he got me to enjoy gourmet cooking, classical music and recently how to invest in the stock market. He even sent me to Hebrew Classes."
On hearing this, Kitty said, "Sounds like are just a little bitter because Robert spends so much time trying to change you."
"I`m not bitter, " said Freda. "Now that I`m so improved, I find he just isn`t good enough for me any more."

For months, Mrs. Pitzel had been nagging her husband to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Freda. "Milty, she's a real gypsy, and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world. We all talk to them! Last week, I talked with my mother, may she rest in peace. Milty, for twenty dollars you can talk to your zayde (grandfather) who you misses so much!"Milton Pitzel could not resist her appeal. At the very next seance at Madam Freda's Seance Parlor, Milty sat under the colored light at the green table, holding hands with the person on each side. All were humming, "Oooom, oooom, tonka tooom." Madame Freda, her eyes lost in trance, was making passes over a crystal ball. "My medium... Vashtri," she called. "Come in. Who is that with you? Who? Mr. Pitzel? Milton Pitzel's Zayde?" Milty swallowed the lump in his throat and called, "Grampa? Zayde?" "Ah, Milteleh?" a thin voice quavered." Yes! Yes!" cried Milty. more...

Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well, they wouldnt admit it out loud, would they?