Forbidden Jokes / Recent Jokes

Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
by Bill Clinton.

One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinto n: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go more...

The English language is not to be spoken. You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person. You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2. It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb. Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire. Kites may not be flown within the city limits. It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck. Spitting is forbidden It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits. One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth. Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays. Cars may not be driven through the town. Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be more...

Three men walk into a bar and sit down at the counter. The first thing that the bartender tells them is not to go into the back room, it is forbidden! Naturally, as soon as the bartender leaves, one of then men goes into the room. He sees a really hot, big-breasted woman in there and hundreds of penises all over the walls. She walks up to him and grabs him by the nuts and asks him what his father did for a living. He tells her that he was a meat grinder.... so she pulls out a meat grinder and grinds up his dick.... he runs out screaming. The second man goes in the room and the same thing happens, except he says, "My father was a butcher." So she chops it off and he runs out screaming. Then the third man goes in and once again the same thing happens. But when she asks what his father did, he says, "He was a lollipop tester, so get down and start sucking!!!"

1. The good Fruit is always good and remains delicious.
2. The forbidden fruit Appeals better but it never remains good
and delicious.
3. The good Fruit is healthy happiness.
4. The forbidden fruit remains Commercial.
Copy Rights
Nishan/

These plates are on forbidden list in the state of Virgina, USA.
Sexually Prodigious, Male:
ABIG14U
EJAQL8
GR8PNOS
MULEDK
9INDONG
WELHNG
Sexually Prodigious, Female:
AHOTBOX
EZ2GETN
MTYMUF
SGRPUSS
36DCUP
Gay:
AGAYLAY
BGAY
GAYRU
IMBI
SODOM
Sexually Adventurous:
AMUFDVR
BEVRETR
CLTNBLR
IB6UB9
DOU69TO
TUNGME
FEL80
BTFKR
Ornery:
ADIOSMF
AIM2KIL
DTFKWME
FAHCU2
FCOUGH
UPYABUM
If ya' can't figure these out... get a clue.
From Spy Magazine

International Travellers Bloopers1. On a French passenger jet: Live West Under Your Seat. 2. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. 3. In a Belgrade hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. 4. In an Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a. m. daily. 5. In a Yugoslav hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. 6. In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. 7. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday. 8. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension (???). 9. In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today: no ice cream. 10. On the menu of a more...

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was, "Don't.""Don't what?" Adam asked."Don't eat the forbidden fruit," God said."Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve! We got Forbidden Fruit!""No way!""Yes WAY!""Don't eat that fruit!" said God."Why?""Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.A few minutes later, God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry. "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked."Uh huh," Adam replied."Then why did you?""I dunno," Eve answered."She started it!" Adam said."Did Not!""DID so!""DID NOT!"Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.