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The Smartest Dog Ever
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please."
Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.
As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.
The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap! - Against the door. He d
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard, Captain!").
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follows:
Five reasons to believe computers are female:
* No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
* The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
* The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
* Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
* As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
However, another group of computer scientists (all female) more...
We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.
What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."
1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.
2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
3. Brought her large dog to the interview.
4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.
6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.
7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
8. Applicant more...
We have all been through job interviews, and we have spent most of the time thinking of what not to do that might make us look bad. Some job applicants however go light years beyond this.What follows is a survey of top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations who were asked for stories of unusual behavior by job applicants. What follows is an unbelievable list of what we can only call "the lowlights."1. Said he was so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would show that the company's management was incompetent.2. Stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.3. Brought her large dog to the interview.4. Chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.5. Candidate kept giggling through a serious interview.6. She wore a Walkman and said she could listen to me and the music at the same time.7. Bald candidate abruptly excused himself. Returned a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.8. Applicant challenged interviewer to arm wrestle.9. Asked more...
These are some of the application and leave letters written by
various people in Sri lanka...
01. A candidate's application "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a' typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post."
02. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. please sanction me one week leave"...
03. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"
04. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school i am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
05. A family friend of our's told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the more...
These are some of the leave letters written by various personnel. English, as they say, is really a funny language!
1. An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. please sanction me one week leave...
2. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave
3. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster:
As I am studying in this school I am suffering from head-ache. I request you to leave me today
4. A family friend of our`s told an incident of his friend`s letter:
I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school
5. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.
6. Another leave letter written to Administration dept:
As my mother-in-law has expired and I am more...
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off.The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the more...