Flask Jokes / Recent Jokes

A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold." The sardar says, "I'll take
it!" The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

An Irish priest and a Rabbi get into a car accident. They both get out of their cars and stumble over to the side of the road. The Rabbi says, "Oy vey! What a wreck!" The priest asks him, "Are you all right, Rabbi?" The Rabbi responds, "Just a little shaken." The priest pulls a flask of whiskey from his coat and says, "Here, drink some of this it will calm your nerves." The Rabbi takes the flask and drinks it down and says, "Well, what are we going to tell the police?" "Well," the priest says, "I don't know what your aft' to be tellin' them. But I'll be tellin' them I wasn't the one drinkin'."

A lawyer and a doctor, each in their own cars, had a collision on a country road. Seeing the doctor was a little shaken up, the lawyer pulled a flask out of his briefcase and offered the doctor a drink. The doctor took a drink and handed the flask back to the lawyer. The lawyer closed it and returned it to his briefcase.
"Aren't you going to have a drink?" the doctor asked.
"I sure am, after the police leave." replied the lawyer.

A doctor and an attorney in separate vehicles collided on I-95 one foggy night. The fault was questionable, but both were shaken up, and the attorney offered the doctor a drink from a pocket flask. The doctor took the flask with a shaking hand and belted back a couple of swallows.
As the attorney started to put the cap back on the flask the doctor asked, "Aren't you going to have one too, for your nerves?"
"Of course I am," replied the attorney, "after the Highway Patrol gets here."

A Santa goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks
the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a
thermos flask."
The Santa then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Santa says, "I`ll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His Santa`s boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object
with you?"
He said, "It`s a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Santa replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

On a country road one evening, a lawyer and a doctor got into a car collision. Both of their cars ended up in a ditch on the side of the road. Each stumbled out of his car to meet the other.

"Wait just a minute," said the lawyer, and he went back to his car to retreive a flask. "Looks like you could use this," he said to the doctor, and handed it over. The doctor took a swig and handed the flask back, at which point the lawyer recapped it and put it in his jacket pocket.

"Aren't you going to have any?" asked the doctor. "Sure," the lawyer replied, "but not until after the police arrive."