Fishing Jokes / Recent Jokes
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings? A fish tank!
TOP 10 REASONS FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX....10. LASTS FROM DAWN TILL DUSK9. YOU HAVE YOUR OWN SECRET HOLE8. ALLOWED SEVERAL FISH DAILY7. CAN CHOOSE THE LENGTH OF YOUR ROD6. CAN FISH ANY TIME OF THE MONTH5. YOU CLEAN IT BEFORE YOU EAT IT4. ABLE TO TAKE A NAP WHILE YOU FISH3. THE COST OF BAIT IS CHEAPER THAN A DATE2. YOU CAN ALWAYS THROW IT BACK1. YOUR FAVORITE CATCH CAN BE MOUNTED ON THE WALL
Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea? Jack the kipper!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I cant swim. Please save her. Ill give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, wheres my hundred dollars?"The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
Two redneck guys go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune. The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?" The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
A team of blondes and a team of brunettes were in an ice fishing competition to see which team could catch the most fish.
It wasn't long before it was obvious that the brunettes were going to win. They kept pulling out fish after fish. Worried, the blondes sent one of their team members over to see what the brunettes were doing differently.
A few minutes later, the blonde came rushing back and exclaimed, "A hole! We need to put a hole in the ice!"
What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend? ' Your plaice or mine'!