Fastest Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was a snail who went to a car dealership one day. The dealer came out and asked "How can I help you?"

"Well," says the snail, "I want a car, but not just any car. I want it to be the fastest car you have."

"Okay," the dealer replied, "Anything else?"

"Yes," the snail said. "Could you paint it green with bright yellow S's on it?"

"Um, okay. It will be ready by next week. Come get it then."

"Great," said the snail and he left.

The following week, the snail returned and was overjoyed to see his bright green new car with yellow S's on it. The dealer looked at him and said "Just one question. Why did you want our fastest car painted bright green car with S's on it?"

The snail replied, "So that when people are walking down the street, they will turn and look and say' Look at that S car go!!!'"

Four old cowboys are having a discussion about what is the fastest thing in the world.

First cowboy says, "I believe it's thinking,' cause when you prick your finger or touch a flame, the pain instantly becomes thought and hits the brain."

Second cowboy says, "Well, I think its blinking. When you blink and open your eyes again, you immediately see everything. Nothing is changed."

Third cowboy says, "Well, I think it's light,' cause as soon as you press that light switch, you go from dark to instant light."

Fourth cowboy says, "Well, I think it's the Mexican-two-step diarrhea."

All the others ask simultaneously, "Diarrhea? Why?"

Fourth cowboy says, "I'll explain it to you. I went across the border to a saloon last night and drank a buncha homemade Mexican tequila. On the way home from the saloon, I stopped off at Lupe's cafe and ate two helpings of her Mexican more...

The fastest way to find something you've lost is to replace it.

According to reuters, a 16-year old Singaporean student broke the Guinness World Record for shortest amount of time needed to type a 160-character SMS (Short Message Service), completing it in 41.52 seconds. The message was as follows:
No body rlly gives 2 craps about who can type the wrld’s fastest txt mssage and this experment is a wste of time. Nx time will brek this usless recrd in 39 scs

Santa got a part time job at the Chandigarh Post Office. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.
Santa separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. Extremely pleased by this, the supervisor approached Santa at the end of his first day.
"I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had."
"Thank you, Sir" said Santa, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better."
"Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?"
Santa replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."

Whats the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.

3 fastest ways of communication in the world are:
3. Tele-fax
2. Tele-phone
1. Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster? Ask her not to tell anyone!!!!