Expense Jokes / Recent Jokes

The official list of types of pussy found throughout the land.
1. Expensive pussy: Most pussy falls into this definition. Expensive pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, $500 dresses, spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on them. 98% of the pussy found on the USC campus falls into this category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking account depletion. Often not worth it.
2. Cheap pussy: Very rare. Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of yours who will not go away no matter what you do. Cheap pussy can be recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner, understands when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly, easily hurt, but shakes it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once and sometimes twice. You're lucky if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can more...

SAMPLE OF A MODERN LOVE LETTERDearest Samantha, I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday, the 17th of August 2001.With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of August 2001 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be canceled without further notice more...