Executioner Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three guys, a Torontonian, an American and a Newfoundlander. They were all going to be executed.
The executioner said that since all three were to be executed that ight that they would each get to choose the method by which they would die. The choices were: lethal injection, electric chair or by hanging.
The American was afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he chose the electric chair. He sat in the chair and when they pulled the switch and nothing happened. The executioner said that if this happened a second time that he could go free. They tried a second time and again nothing happened so they set him free.
The Torontonian was also afraid of needles and didn't want to be hanged so he too chose the electric chair. Once again, the chair didn't work and he was free.
Next it was the Newfies turn. He said, "I'm afraid of needles and the electric chair won't work so I pick hanging."

The queen, the prince and the count of a small country, conspired to gain control of the throne by assinating the King. The count was sent into the Kings chamber one night and told to murder him while he was sleeping. The count, who was not very intelligent, slipped up and was caught red handed in his attempt.

The King knew very well that this man was incapable of pulling this assination off by himself so he demanded, "Tell me who is conspiring against me or I will have your head."

The count stayed silent. The King rounded up the executioner and took the count down to the chopping block.

The King said, "I'll give you one last chance. Tell me who was in the conspiracy and I will spare your life."

The count refused to speak. The King gave the signal to the excutioner and just as the axe was being raised the count said, "Wait, wait, I'll talk!"

But it was to late. The executioner droped his axe and the more...