Executes Jokes

Your grandfather completely executes the "pull my finger" trick at the family reunion.
When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
You have a house that's mobile and five cars that aren't.

The following is the list of some new viruses going round in India.
Better beware of them.

P. V. Narasimha Rao Virus:
First of all, this virus reduces the CPU speed to 66Hz. Before
executing any instruction, it deleberates over it a number of times
and finally does nothing.

V. P. Singh Virus:
This virus reserves a quota for each instruction, and executes them
only according to the quota. Needless to say, the least used
instructions have a higher quota than the more used instructions.
This virus is also known as social justice virus.

Sukh Ram Virus:
This virus first swallows 10% of the bits in each instruction and
then executes them.

Maneka Gandhi Virus:
This is a green virus. It executes only those programmes that were
written by vegetarians or animals.

L. K. Advani Virus:
This virus pops up every now and then, and the only way you can
continue working is by more...