Ex-lax Jokes / Recent Jokes
May be offensive to Native Americans.
A community of settlers was moving in on an Indian Tribe. Most Indian tribes had a medicine man who was the leader of the tribe. Well the settlers were planning to move the Indians off their land to build a town. The big chief of the Indians did not like it at all. So he decided to go to the settlers and tell them that he was not moving.
The big chief finds one settler and says, "ME BIG CHIEF WANT TO SEE MEDICINE MAN!"
The settler had no idea what the chief was talking about, so he sent him to the pharmacist down the road.
The chief says to the pharmacist,"YOU MEDICINE MAN??"
The pharmacist replies,"yes."
The chief says "ME BIG CHIEF NO MOVE!!" Well the pharmacist thinks that the Indian must be constipated, so he gives him some ex-lax and sends him on his way.
A week later the chief shows up again and says, "ME BIG CHIEF STILL NO MOVE!"
The pharmacist thought about more...
Sam was a clerk in a small drugstore, but wasn't much of a salesman since he could never find the items the customers wanted. The store owner warned him that the next sale he missed would be his last.
Just then, a man came in coughing and asked Sam for their best cough syrup. As usual, Sam couldn't find any cough syrup. Remembering what his boss had said, he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take the entire box all at once. The customer immediately consumed the entire box in the store, went outside and leaned against a pole.
Having seen the whole thing, the owner came over and asked Sam what had happened.
"The man wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup," Sam explained. "I substituted it with Ex-Lax and told him to take all of it at once."
"You idiot!" shouted the angry owner. "Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!"
"Really?" Sam replied, pointing to the customer leaning against the pole. more...
John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. Try as he might John could not find the cough syrup. Remembering Bob's warning he sold the man a box of Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once. The customer did as John said and then walked outside and leaned against a lamp post. Bob had seen the whole thing and came over to ask John what had transpired." He wanted something for his cough but I couldn't find the cough syrup. I substituted Ex-Lax and told him to take it all at once" John explained." Ex-Lax won't cure a cough!" Bob shouted angrily." Sure it will" John said, pointing at the man leaning on the lamp post." Just look at him. He's afraid to cough!"
The editors of "The Seattle Times" couldn't resist running (pardon the pun) the following story on the front page yesterday. They also couldn't decide on a headline so they gave the story two.
CUSTOMER REFUND HIGHLY IRREGULAR
MAN ASKS FOR $2 FROM EX-LAX; TAKES $98,002 AND RUNS
By Richard Seven
Seattle Times Staff Reporter
Authorities are searching for a former Kent man they say found relief in the form of an erroneous $98,002 refund from the makers of Ex-Lax.
Barry Lyn Stoller, 38, wrote a letter demanding the maker of the laxative reimburse him the $1.99 he paid for a package of the product after, he claimed, it failed to work, according to first-degree theft charges filed in King County Superior Court.
The New Jersey-based Sandoz Corp. immediately issued a refund check, but mistakenly wrote the amount to correspond not to the $1.99 cost but to Stoller's zip code, 98032.
King County prosecutors allege Stoller deposited the check, withdrew the more...