Entry Jokes / Recent Jokes

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn’t afford to feed it. He’d never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50, 000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He’s carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,
000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.
He’d never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, “no. ” Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50, 000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the more...

Solitaire '99Here is the README.TXT file from Microsoft's latest software product. Microsoft Solitaire '98README file, v4.3Welcome! Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of Microsoft Solitaire '98! This classic game has been a Windows fixture for many years, and after a long period of development, we are pleased to announce that it has been updated to take advantage of many exciting, Microsoft- pioneered technologies, such as "long filenames!" For years, our users have made demands, and Microsoft has listened. You told us that you wanted an operating system in which Solitaire was a seamless, integrated component. You wanted to blend in Solitaire with how you worked, how you played, and in general, you wanted Solitaire to *define your computing experience.* Solitaire '98 brings this dream to a blissful reality. System Requirements:- 266 MHz Pentium II or better- 800 megabytes of free hard drive space (2.1 gigabytes recommended)- 128 megabytes of RAM (256 megabytes more...

Entry level position:
You'll be making minimum wage.

Entry level position in an up-and-coming company:
You'll be making minimum wage; we'll be bankrupt in a year.

Profit sharing plan:
Once it's shared between the higher-ups, there won't be a profit.

Competitive salary:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

Join our fast-paced company:
We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.

Nationally recognized leader:
Inc. Magazine wrote us up a few years ago, but we haven't done anything innovative since.

Immediate opening:
The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.

Casual work atmosphere:
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up, although a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

Competitive environment:
We have a lot of more...

Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married: " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her. " An instructor explaining the working of pendulum: "Take an elephant of negligible weight" Instructor: "Take a copper wire of any metal... and pour any liquid solution of sulphuric acid in a round bottom flask of any shape." "Do not smoke and spoil the botany of ur body" He/she's my cousin brother/sister. "You three, both of you kneel down together separately" "Hey, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside" "I have to put my child to sleep" " Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju. B. A, M. A. " " Don't talk bad in front of my back " Did you cut the ticket, yet? "Entry too entry otherwise disentry" The principal just passed away. Who took out the breeze of my cykill. My cykill is more...

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do panties represent Christmas?"The man replies, "Oh, they're Carol's."

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,
000.
All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,
000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.
He'd never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the more...

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump with all 4 feet off the ground would get $50,000.All sorts of people tried, but nobody could get the elephant to jump. Finally, this little guy arrives in a limousine. He's carrying a baseball bat. He walks up to the elephant, swings the bat, and crunches the elephants balls pretty badly. Needless to say, the elephant jumps, and the owner pays out the $50,000. Unfortunately, the owner had barely collected enough to cover the prize, so he ran another contest.He'd never seen an elephant swing its head back and forth as if to say, "no." Same deal as before: $10 per entry, $50,000 prize. Lots of people try and fail. Then the little guy shows up in his limousine again, pulls out his bat, and walks up to the elephant. He says, more...