Emerged Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman, three months pregnant was walking by a bank when two robbers
emerged from the bank. The security guards and robbers exchanged gunfire
and the young woman was struck in the abdomen. At the hospital the doctors
concerned for the unborn children decided not to do surgery to remove the
bullets. 6
months later the woman gave birth to triplets. Two girls and a boy all
unharmed by
the bullets. Years went by without incident when one day near the childrens 16
birthday one of the girls when to her mother in tears. The mother asked what
the
problem was and she described that while going to the bathroom a bullet came
out of
her. The mother calmed her down and told her the story of the day she was
shot.
Shortly after that the second daughter emerged from the restroom and in
similar
circumstances started the story about the bullet. The mother stopped her and
again explained the story to the second daughter. Suddenly the more...

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked andwas climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache." "Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in thebathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository,... it's up to you!"

For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park,
until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You`ve been such exemplary statues," he announced to them,
"and I`m going to give you a special gift.
I`m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."
And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes,
from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking conspiratorially.
Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great!
Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I`ll poop on it`s head."

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the decks
Not a crewman was stirring,' cept those having sex;
Their boots were all placed by the vent shafts with care,
In hopes that by morning they'd get some fresh air.
The Redshirts were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of stay'ng alive danced in their heads;
And Kirk in his gold shirt, McCoy in his blue,
Had just settled down for a nice Christmas brew--
When from the comm panel there came such a wail,
They sprang from their chairs, knocking over their ale.
Away to the panel Kirk flew, drenched in beer,
Snapped on the comm switch and barked loudly, "Kirk here!"
The squeals that emerged from the thing after that
Sounded just like the Devil was strangling a cat;
When, what to their bombarded ears should appear,
But the music of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,"
With a voice in the background, a murmur of talk,
That more...

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo got into a terrible argument.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not," said Quasimodo and Tom Thumb in unison.
"I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Quasimodo.
"I am the ugliest person in the world," announced Quasimodo.
"No, you're not," said Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
They decided they needed a mediator in order to get along. Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, was the ideal choice. Merlin summoned the trio to his palace, where he met with them individually.
Sleeping Beauty entered first and emerged just a moment later, beaming. "I am the most beautiful person in the world. Merlin said so."
Tom Thumb was next. He returned just as quickly and declared, "I am the smallest person in the world. Merlin more...