Election Jokes / Recent Jokes
The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.
When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"
"Honestly?"
The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
The Democratic National Committee has moved up the dates of two of its primaries. Explained DNC leader Howard Dean, "We feel this will help us lose the election faster this time."
During election time, two simpletons were discussing the election scenario and prospects of different political parties in the fray. Suddenly one of them asked the other,' Sir, which party do you prefer - Akalis, BJP, Congress, CPI, CPI (M) or
JD?'
The second person answered,' Excuse me, Sir, but I prefer a tea party.'
Rodney was the cat's pajamas at the retirement community.
Two friends are discussing politics on Election Day, each
trying to no avail to convince the other to switch sides.
Finally, one says to the other: ''Look, it's clear that
we are unalterably opposed on every political issue. Our
votes will surely cancel out. Why not save ourselves some
time and both agree to not vote today?''
The other agrees enthusiastically and they part.
Shortly after that, a friend of the first one who had heard
the conversation says, ''That was a sporting offer you made.''
''Not really,'' says the second. This is the third time I've
done this today.
Q: How many election canvassers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They'd just go round telling everyone that it's time for a change but the only way this can come about is if everyone votes for "New lightbulb."
Republican Presidential candidate, Fred Thompson, announced Sunday that he believed that a comatose, brain-damaged woman who was allowed to die in 2005 should have been kept alive.
Political strategists said that Thompson’s speech was unnecessary as that, “He already had a lock on the brain-damaged vote.”