Efficiency Jokes / Recent Jokes

I took some clients out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water and tableware; he too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters and busboys had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had to ask, "Why the spoons?"

"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some Andersen Consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil, at a frequency of 3 spoons per hour per workstation. By preparing our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time... nearly 1.5 extra man-hours per shift." Just as he concluded, a more...

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "Please DO NOT to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Honey, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "Don''t try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife''s routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the fridge, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, "You''re wasting too much time. Why don''t you try carrying several things at once?"

"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in ten."

The efficiency expert concluded his factory lecture with a warning: "Don't try these task-organizing tips at home."
"Why not?" asked a worker.
"I did a study of my wife's routine fixing breakfast," explained the lecturer.
"She made a lot of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table, and cupboards, often carrying only one item. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?"
"Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?"
The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. ''You don't want to try these techniques at home.''''Why not?'' asked someone from the back of the audience. ''I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years,'' the expert explained. ''She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?''' The voice from the back asked, ''Did it save time?'' The expert replied, ''Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.'''