Duncan Jokes

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have
change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's
corridor floors, and asked him,
"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "Sure."
The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address a
superior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you have
change for a dollar?"
Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't havechange for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base'scorridor floors, and asked him,"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "Sure." The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address asuperior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you havechange for a dollar?" Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't havechange for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base'scorridor floors, and asked him,"Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"Private Duncan replied, "Sure."The Corporal turned red. He said, "That's no way to address asuperior officer! Now let's try it again. Private, do you havechange for a dollar?"Private Duncan replied, "No, SIR!"

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in your coffee!

Duncan, the Scottish shipping magnate had returned to his hometown of Glasgow with a client, and they were walking on the shore while the ship was being loaded. Duncan stopped on a hill in a field near the city, pointed to a tree at the base of the hill, said "It was under that tree that I lost my virginity to a wonderful girl."

The client was impressed, mentioned that it must have a very special place in his heart. Duncan nodded, then said, "It was right here on this hill that the girl's mother stood while I lost my virginity that night."

The client was unbelieving. He said, "You mean to tell me that this woman just stands here and watches you and her daughter going at it down there?"

Duncan nods. The client says, "Well, what'd she say?"

Duncan says, "Baaa."