Drugstore Jokes / Recent Jokes

One Saturday, Little Johnny's bored, so he says to his father, "Dad, I'm bored. What's there to do?"
His dad decides to have a little fun with him, so he gives Johnny four quarters. "Here, son," his father says, "why don't you go to the drugstore and get me some 'what's what'?"
Excited, although somewhat baffled, Johnny rushes down the street to the drugstore. He approaches the druggist and asks him for some 'what's what'. Initially, the druggist is confused, but soon guesses that this kid has been sent out on a wild goose chase.
"I'm sorry, young man, we don't have any, but that building over there might," the druggist says, as he points towards a whorehouse.
Filled with excitement, Johnny races over to the whorehouse. He knocks on the door and a naked woman answers it.
"I need some... hey, what's that?" Johnny says, motioning to her crotch.
"What's what?" she replies.
Satisfied, Johnny says, more...

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a BRISTOL."
The pharmacist fainted.

Tennis Elbow
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Don't have to spend that kind of money, " Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be more...

Bobby Zimmerman went to the drugstore to purchase an aphrodesiac. Explaining that he had two young ladies coming to visit that night, Bob was delighted when the pharmacist gave him the most powerful love stimulant on the market.
The next day, Bob showed up again at the drugstore and asked the pharmacist if he had anything to soothe raw flesh.
The Pharmacist winked knowingly, "Your penis, sir?"
"No," he replied, "my hand. The girls never showed up."

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple of days before the cruise, the travel agent phones and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead.
The guy agrees and goes to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.
Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise.
The guy says he'll take it and returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.
The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise.
The guy agrees and goes back to the drugstore and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it makes you sick, why do you keep doing it?"

A guy went to a travel agent and tried to book a two week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and things were very tight, but that he would see what he could do. A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could now get them onto a three day cruise. The guy agreed and went to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine's and three condoms. Next day, the agent called back and said that he now could book a five day cruise. The guy said, "I'll take it," and returned to the same pharmacy, to buy two more Dramamine's and two more condoms. The following day, the travel agent called yet again and said he could now book an eight day cruise. The guy agreed, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms. The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, "Look, if it makes you sick, why do you keep doing it?"

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick."
The pharmacist asks the duck, "Will that be cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk, "Give me a box of condoms."
The clerk says, "Do you want me to also put them on your bill?"
The duck says, "Hell no, I'm not that kind of duck!"