Drowned Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons.
Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her - how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?
In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the husband awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head.
Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself.
When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you."
The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to more...

a blond a brunette and a ginger girl were all sittin on an island 30 miles away from turkey and they all decided to try and get to turkey so the ginger girl swam 5 miles and drowned the brunette swam 10 miles and drowned the blond swam 15 miles decided she couldnt swim any more so swam back

Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away. The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned. The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned. The third guy swam 99 miles, and said,"I'm tired. I think I'll swim back."

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper where most accidents happen within twenty miles of home so we moved. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, I pulled the chain and havn't seen them since. It only rained twice this week. Three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you. Your Aunt Sue said it would be a little to heavy to send in the mail with them big heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, said if we didn't make the last payment, up she comes. Your uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off playfully so he drowned. We cremated him, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup one was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver got out, he rolled down more...

231. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
232. What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.
233. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too more...