Dozens Jokes

As the old man lies dying in the bedroom, out in the parlor the family discusses funeral arrangements.
Son Gary says, "We'll make a real big thing out of it. We'll have five hundred people. We'll order fifty limos."
Daughter Grace says, "Why do you want to waste money like that? We'll have the family and maybe a few friends. One limo just for us."
They proceed. Grandson Jeff says, "We'll have lots of flowers. We'll surround him with dozens of roses and lilies, dozens and dozens."
Daughter Alice says, "What a waste! We'll have one little bouquet, that's enough."
Suddenly, the voice of the old man is heard, wafting weakly from the bedroom, "Why don't you get me my pants? I'll walk to the cemetery."

As the old man lies dying in the bedroom, out in the parlor the family discusses funeral arrangements.
Son says, "We'll make a real big thing out of it. We'll have five hundred people. We'll order fifty limos."
Daughter says, "Why do you want to waste money like that? We'll have the family and maybe a few friends. One limo just for us."
They proceed. Grandson says, "We'll have lots of flowers. We'll surround him with dozens of roses and lilies, dozens and dozens."
Daughter says, "What a waste! We'll have one little bouquet, that's enough."
Suddenly, the voice of the old man is heard, wafting weakly from the bedroom, "Why don't you get me my pants? I'll walk to the cemetery."

Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Dozens and dozens to go round selling raffle tickets so they can afford to buy the new one.

A picky customer comes to a small food shop and sees a new delivery of fresh fruit.
"Give me three dozens of oranges and wrap every orange up in a separate piece of paper, please," he says to the saleswoman.
She does.
"And three dozens of cherries, please, and wrap up every one in a separate piece of paper, too." She does.
"And what is that there," he asks pointing out a bushel in the corner.
"Grapes," says the saleswoman, "but they are not for sale!"