Dog Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two women

Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter. First woman: My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me. Second woman: I know. First one: How? Second one: My dog told me.

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A farmer named Muldoon lived alone

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."

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A man and his dog walk into a bar

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man says, "I`ll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yeah! Sure…go ahead."

Man asks the dog, "What covers a house?" Dog says, "Roof!"

Man asks the dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" Dog says, "Rough!"

Man asks the dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" Dog says, "Ruth!"

Man says to the bartender, "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

Bartender throws both of them out the door.

Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the man and says, "Should I have said Gehrig, then?"