Discovery Jokes / Recent Jokes
EUREKA! The Discovery that political conservatism is determined by the genes opens a window on a brighter tomorrow. (After all, who would actually choose to be Republican?) By Daniel Mendelsohn
The startling discovery that affiliation with the Republican Party is genetically determined, announced by scientists in the current issue of the journal Nurture, threatens to overshadow the announcement by scientists that there might be a gene for homosexuality in men.
Reports of the gene that codes for political conservatism, discovered after a long study of quintuplets in Orange County, Calif., has sent shock waves through the medical, political and golfing communities.
Psychologists and psychoanalysts have long believed that Republicans' unnatural and frequently unconstitutional tendencies result from unhealthy family life -- a remarkable high percentage of Republicans had authoritarian, domineering fathers and emotionally distant mothers who didn't teach more...
Orben's Packaging Discovery: For the first time in history, one bag of groceries produces two bags of trash.
A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams.
He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began playing "On the road again...Just can't wait to get on the road again..."
The student was amazed, and placed the cork back in the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the student called the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.
"Look at this. This is really something!" the student told the examiner as he pulled the cork back out again.
"On the road again... Just can't wait to get on the road again..."
"So what?" - the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with the student's discovery.
"But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" more...
It was announced today that liberalism may be genetically determined. A lengthy article in the current issue of "HEY !" threatens to overshadow the announcement by Government scientists that there might be a hidden dormant gene for compassion in men.
Reports of the gene codes which predispose one to liberal views were discovered after a long study in Brite Orange County CA, has sent shock waves through medical, political and yuppie communities.
Psychologists have long believed the "off-the-wall" liberals' unnatural and frequently unconstitutional radical tendencies resulted from an unhealthy family life - a remarkably high percentage of liberals had whimpy and submissive fathers, as well as latent lesbian mothers who didn't teach them traditions at all. Biologists have long suspected that liberal tendencies are inherited. "After all" said one author of the article, "It's quite common for such a free spirit to have a brother or sister who also more...