# Diameter Jokes

## The Seven-Ten Cap

by Dima&Kate

A blonde lady goes into an auto parts store and asks for a seven-ten cap.
All the clerks look at each other, and one says, "What's a seven-ten cap?"
She says, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost and some how and I need a new one."
"What kind of a car is it on?" the clerk asked.
"It's a Toyota."
"Okay lady, how big is it?"
She makes a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
The clerk asks, "What does it do?"
"I don't know, but its always been there."
By now, the manager has come over. He hands the lady a note pad and asks her if she could draw a picture of it. The customer carefully draws a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter. In the center she writes "710."
The guys behind the counter, who are looking at the drawing upside down, can barely control their laughter as the boss walks to a shelf, grabs an OIL cap and puts in on the more...

## Redneck Engineering Exam

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? a) '66 Ford Fairlane b) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle c) '64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The lot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser Tall-Boys will it take to cut the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1 more...

## West Virginia Professional Engineering Exam (Endorsed by the Ken

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 lb. รข??possum.
2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
a. 66 Ford Fairlane
b. 69 Chevrolet Chevelle
c. 64 Pontiac GTO
3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine per hour, how many car radiators are necessary to condense the product?
4. A pulpwood cutter has a chain saw that operates at 2700 rpm. The density of the pine trees in a plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Pabst Blue Ribbons will be consumed in cutting the trees?
5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented its charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the decrease in the ozone layer?
6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is more...

## Ya gotta love Canadian men

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!"
"Bill, da Canadian pipple would be' appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to' elp you" replied the Prime Minster. (Yes, he does speak like that)
"I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1, 000, 000 Condoms ASAP to tie us over?"
"Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien.
"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton.
"Oui?"
"Could the condoms be red, white and blue in colour; at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton.
"No problem" replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Cretien hung up and called the President of Trojan.
"I need a favour, you got to make 1, 000, 000 condoms right away and more...