Prime Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Alex Trebek will be hosting a new reality show on Canadian television called'Canada's Next Prime Minister'. The show was originally going to be called, "The Biggest Hoser".

    This happened during the Emergency imposed by Mrs. Indira Gandhi in 1975. Bapu Gandhi, up in heaven, was troubled by the thought that after all he had done for his country, no one even remembered his name. He sent for Jawahar Lai Nehru and said "Nehru beta, you ruled the country for many years. What did you do to perpetuate the memory of your Bapu Gandhi?"
    "Bapu, I did everything I could. I had a samadhi built on the spot where we cremated your body. On your birthdays and death anniversaries we gathered at the samadhi, sang Ram Dhun and Vaishnav Jan. What more could I do?"
    "Who came after you?" asked Bapu.
    "I am told Lai Bahadur became Prime Minister after me," replied Nehru.
    So Bapu Gandhi sent for Lai Bahadur and put him the same question. Shastri replied: "Bapu, I had a very short time as Prime Minister - only one and a half year, but I had your statues put up in every town and village. I had all your speeches more...

    PRESS RELEASE:Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary President Bush and Prime Minister John Chretien of Canada met on Sept. 24th with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement:CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM! WE HAVE PLEDGED:- 2 BATTLE SHIPS,- 600 GROUND TROOPS,- 6 FIGHTER JETS.AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH:- 2 CANOES,- 6 MOUNTIES,- AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS

    Excerpted from "Quotes, damned quotes and..." by John Bibby.
    Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they
    translate into their own language and forthwith it is something
    entirely different. (Goethe)
    If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9
    times out of ten it will. (Paul Harvey News, 1979)
    "Give us a copper Guv," said the beggar to the Treasury
    statistician when he waylaid him in Parliament square. "I
    haven't eaten for three days." "Ah," said the statistician, "And
    how does that compare with the same period last year?" (Russell
    "I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of
    Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call
    for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want
    is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than
    when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a more...

    Prime Minister Jean Chretien was meeting with officials in Flin Flon, Manitoba. It was a very hot day and the ceremonies took place outside in a local grandstand. The Mayor was surprised to see that Chretien was wearing a large fox fur hat, despite the heat.
    After a while the mayor leaned over and spoke up. "Excuse me, Mr. Prime Minister, but I can't help wondering why you are wearing that fox hat when it is so warm?"
    Chretien shrugged. "Well, you know 'ow it is", he replied. "My wife, she is da dresser in da family, so I always take 'er advice.
    If I go to de Maritime, she say 'Wear da toque'.
    If I go to Calgaree, she say 'Wear da stetson'.
    Dis time she ask me where I go; I say Flin Flon.
    She say 'Flin Flon! Where the fock's 'at ?'
    So I did!"

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