Detective Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer.
    When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked, "Who killed Jesus Christ?"
    The Jewish man answered without hesitation "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left.
    When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
    When the Polish man arrived for his interview, he was asked the exact same question. He thought for a long time, before saying, "Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said, "OK, but get back to me tommorrow."
    When the Polish man arrived home, his wife asked "How did more...

    A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
    Most honorable sir:
    You leave house.
    He come house.
    I watch.
    He and she leave house.
    I follow.
    He and she get on train.
    I follow.
    He and she go in hotel.
    I climb tree-look in window.
    He kiss she.
    She kiss he.
    He strip she.
    She strip he.
    He play with she.
    She play with he.
    I play with me.
    fall out of tree, not see.
    NO FEE

    A man suspected his wife of seeing another man so he hired a famous Chinese detective to watch and report activities while he was gone.
    A few days later he received this report:
    Most Hon'ble Sir,
    You leave the house.
    I watch house.
    He come to house.
    I watch.
    He and she leave house.
    I follow.
    He and she get on train.
    I follow.
    He and she go in hotel.
    I climb tree - look in window.
    He kiss she.
    She kiss he.
    He strip she.
    She strip he.
    He play with she.
    She play with he.
    I play with me.
    Fall out of tree.
    Not see.
    No fee.

    A police detective was investigating a homicide. As he questioned the on-scene officer, he learned the body was that of a young woman.The body was found with a bowl over her head and a spoon stuck in her back.The on-scene officer asked what the detective thought had happened to the woman.The detective responded, "I think it's obvious. A cereal killer got her!"

    A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?"
    "No, I am an undercover detective."
    "So why are you in uniform?"
    "Today is my day off."

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