Derek Jokes

A guy named Derek finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray...

"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.

Derek again prays...

"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well".

Lotto night comes and Derek still has no luck.

Once again, he prays...

"My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Derek!
Derek who?
Derek of the Hesperus is a famous poem by Longfellow!

Bo Derek getting older.

Bill and Derek are out walking their dogs. Bill has a German shepherd, while Derek is trailing with his Chihuahua. They've been out for a while and Bill suggests stopping in at cafe for some coffee.
"We can't go in there with the dogs," replies Derek.
"Sure we can," says Bill. "Just follow my lead."
Bill puts on his sunglasses and walks into Starbucks. A barrista stops him and says, "Sir, you can't bring a dog in here."
"This is my seeing-eye dog," says Bill, and the barrista lets him in.
Derek watches this exchange, shrugs and puts on his sunglasses. The same barrista meets him as soon as he gets in the door. "Sir, you can't bring a dog in here."
"This is my seeing-eye dog," says Derek.
Skeptically, the barrista says, "Your seeing-eye dog is a Chihuahua?"
"They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"