Dating Jokes / Recent Jokes

After several assault charges, an Ontario judge has ordered that Steven Cranley, 24, is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.

Cranley will do the next best thing, go gay and find a boyfriend to abuse for the time being.

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking."Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?"I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell' intellectual?'"

Apparently, there is a new trend out there for single, expecting mothers that are dating while pregnant. Experts are calling it “lowering standards.”

A former nanny filed a sexual harassment suit against Rob Lowe's wife, alleging that she made repeated crude comments about her boyfriend's genitals - referring to them as "The Outsiders."

A fathers rules to dating;
Rule One - If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two - You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three - I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and more...

...i have the worst luck when it comes to buying my girlfriend gifts...i buy her clothes that dont fit, books she doesnt like, and take her places she doesnt want to go to....this year for her birthday i asked her to give me a hint as to what she would like...she said, "how about getting me something that goes from 0-200 in under 6 seconds"...so i bought her a new bathroom scale.

Someone made a comment and they all realized they were dating the same woman.