Cruise Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kuttappan was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,
“OK, Kuttappan how about Tom Cruise? ”
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ”
So Kuttappan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Babu! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! ”
Although impressed, Kuttappan’s boss is still skeptical.
After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Kuttappan that he thinks Kuttappan’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else”, Kuttappan says.
“President Bush, ” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes, ” Kuttappan says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington. ”
And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Kuttappan on the tour and motions him and his more...

Leaders of Scientology have said that Tom Cruise is the "chosen one" to spread news about the faith, and that he will be worshipped like Jesus by future generations.
Ok, but can't he take his proselytizing ass to the Middle East? That's where they could use a new religion! We already know the Jews won't listen, but perhaps the Muslims...

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life- until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies... Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"O, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island; the oars were whittled from gum tree branches; I wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus more...

Now that I've seen a picture of Tom Cruise's baby, I'm not sure I want to have his babies any more...

THIS LITTLE BOY GOES UP TO HIS FATHER ONE DAY AND ASKS HIS FATHER WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALISTICALLY AND POTENTIALLY.
HIS FATHER SAYS, "GO UP TO YOUR MOTHER AND ASK HER IF SHE WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ROBERT REDFERD FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. THEN ASK YOUR SISTER IF SHE WOULD SLEEP WITH BRAD PITT FOR A MILLION DOLLARS. THEN ASK YOUR BROTHER IF HE WAS SLEEP WITH TOM CRUISE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS."
SO THE BOY FINDS HIS MOM AND ASKS HER, "MOMMY WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH ROBERT REDFERD FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE MOTHER SAYS, "YES HE'S FINE AS HELL I'D SLEEP WITH HIM FOR A MILLION DOLLARS."
THE LITTLE BOY GOES UP TO HIS SISTER AND ASKS HER,"WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH BRAD PITT FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE SISTER SAYS, "HELL YEH HE'S HOT AS HELL."
HE GOES UP TO HIS BROTHER AND ASKS HIS, "WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH TOM CRUISE FOR A MILLION DOLLARS?"
THE BROTHER SAYS, "HELL YEH, I'D SLEEP WITH HIM FOR A MILLION more...

Robert Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young?"He thought it over and agreed. Bob put on his hat and coat and went down to the corner drug store. He stepped up to the counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box of condoms.Upon returning home his wife greeted him at the door saying, "You know dear, I've been thinking it over. I see no reason why we couldn't manage a month-long cruise. so we could relax and make wild passionate love like we did when we were young."Bob smiled, turned around, and went back to the pharmacy. He stepped up and ordered 12 bottles of seasick pills and a dozen boxes of condoms. Upon returning back home, his wife met him on the porch with a big smile on her face. "Bob, I have a marvelous idea. You know, now that our children are all on their own, there's nothing to stop us from more...

Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor thathe's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him,"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."