Cricket Jokes / Recent Jokes

Of sportsmanship and sledging, and running at the call.
You play it ’cause you love it, you play it ’cause you can -
But really understand it? I’ve yet to find the man.

It’s jumping over hurdles while on a rocking horse,
It’s looking at the steward while the jockey runs the course;
It’s exciting when you hit the thing and make a winning haul,
But you never really worry that you know the game at all.

You can play it when you’re ninety, you can play it when you’re four,
You can drink a beer and eat a pie and never know the score,
It’s a social thing, a boastful thing, a time away from chores,
You can call the great deriders just a bunch of stupid bores.

You know it’s so much better than those other piddly games
Like baseball, golf, or tennis, and other stupid names.
Cricket is a game for gents, a game of great renown,
And I’m glad I’ve never played it for it might just get me more...

IT HURTS... BUT IT'S TRUE.....
>------------------------------
>Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
>A. Muttiah Muralitharan
>
>Q. What is the height of optimism?
>A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.
>
>Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was Sri Lankan?
>A. An all-rounder.
>
>Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
>A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
>
>Q. Why is Upul Chandana the unluckiest bowler on tour?
>A. Because he was born in Sri Lanka.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
>A. Three runs in three balls.
>
>Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a maiden over?
>A. Sarita Rajendran now De Silva (Aravinda's wife).
>
>Q. When does the ball travel at its fastest in this world cup?
>A. An Eric Upashantha delivery flying towards the boundary.
>
>Q. Why don't Sri Lankan more...

A Native American and his friend were in downtown New York City, walking near Times Square in Manhattan. It was during the noon lunch hour and the streets were filled with people. Cars were honking their horns, taxicabs were squealing around corners, sirens were wailing, and the sounds of the city were almost deafening. Suddenly, the Native American said, "I hear a cricket." His friend said, "What? You must be crazy. You couldn't possibly hear a cricket in all of this noise!" "No, I'm sure of it," the Native American said, "I heard a cricket." "That's crazy," said the friend. The Native American listened carefully for a moment, and then walked across the street to a big cement planter where some shrubs were growing. He looked into the bushes, beneath the branches, and sure enough, he located a small cricket. His friend was utterly amazed. "That's incredible," said his friend. "You must have super-human ears!" more...

Q. Who is the best Sri Lankan batsman on the current tour?
A. Muttiah Muralitharan

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A Sri Lankan batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the Sri Lankan coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't Sri Lankan fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the Sri Lankan version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Sri Lankan with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Sri Lankan
batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Sri Lankan touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. Why did Nawaz more...

Two Fast Friends, Santa Singh And Banta Singh, Were Great Cricket Fanatics.

They Decided That Whoever Dies First Will Try To Come Back In The Dreams Of The Other, And Tell The Other About The Cricket

Scenario In The Heaven.

Santa Singh Dies First. One Day As Banta Was Fast Sleep, He Heard Santa Calling Him. He Was Very Happy And Was Eager To Know
About Cricket There.

"So, Santa! How Is Cricket In Heaven?"

Santa Replied, "Hey Banta, I Have Good News And Bad News.

The Good News Is That Tomorrow We Are Going To Have A Day & Night Tournament Here In Heaven.

And The Bad News Is That You Are The Opening Bowler For Tomorrow's Match!"

The teacher had asked the class to write an essay on cricket. With only a few minutes left, one boy had written nothing. Suddenly, he looked up at the clock, grabbed his pen and scribbled something on the paper. The teacher read out his essay: "No play today. Rain."

The insects were having their annual cricket match. The captain was a Grasshopper, who turned to the Cricket and said, "Are you a bowler?"
"Of course," said the Cricket. "Who ever heard of a cricket bat?"