Court Room Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    ...a circuit court judge was bound over for trial after numerous jurors say the judge had been masturbating underneath his court robes. The case was dismissed after the judge got off on a technicality.

    A homeless man pleaded guilty to attacking a $3.4 million Joshua Reynolds painting with a hammer in London's National Portrait Gallery.

    If convicted, the man will be sentenced to remain homeless.

    A man who robbed Antoine Walker at gunpoint has been sentenced to 21 years in prison. No word on the sentence Walker will receive for robbing Boston, Dallas, Atlanta, Miami, and Minnesota.

    Joe Francis, the founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" video empire, was sentenced to community service for failing to monitor the ages of the women when he shot his videos. Many were 17 at the time.

    Francis will also make a video called "Dads Gone Apoplectic", a collection of fathers' reactions when seeing their perfect little princesses hammered, topless and lezzing it up in a hot tub. Proceeds will go to memory-erasing drug research.

    I saw the new Superman movie over the weekend and my first and overwhelming reaction:
    Boy, are the people in Metroplis stupid! And if I ever commit a crime, I want those gullible morons in my jury.
    (I won't reveal any major plot points, except for the whole "Superman was away" thing which is kinda implied by the Superman returns title anyway) So, naturally, Clark Kent was away for five years, too.
    So as soon as Clark Kent comes back into town, Superman starts saving people?
    Coincidence? You'd think not, but apparently these Metropolian morons can't put two and two together even when you're prompting them with "ffffoooouuuu..."
    What's even more annoying is they actually include a scene where a couple of them are close to figuring it out, and then Clark looks over and gives them a goofy smile and akward wave, and they're like, "Ha! We were really on the wrong track with THAT one!"

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