Cord Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Polak wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor andstarted lessons. The instructor told the Polak to jump out of theplane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that hehimself would jump out right behind him so that they would go downtogether. The Polak understood and was ready.The time came to have the Polak jump from the air plane. Theinstructor reminded the Polak that he would be right behind him. ThePolak proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the airfor a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed byjumping from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but theparachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to gethis parachute open, darted past the Polak.The Polak seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to hisparachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

A Polak wanted to learn how to sky dive. He got an instructor and started lessons. The instructor told the Polak to jump out of the plane and pull his rip cord. The instructor then explained that he himself would jump out right behind him so that they would go down together. The Polak understood and was ready.The time came to have the Polak jump from the air plane. The instructor reminded the Polak that he would be right behind him. The Polak proceeded to jump from the plane and after being in the air for a few seconds pulled the rip cord. The instructor followed by jumping
from the plane. The instructor pulled his rip cord but the parachute did not open. The instructor, frantically trying to get his parachute open, darted past the Polak.

The Polak seeing this yelled, as he undid the straps to his parachute, "So you wanna race, eh?"

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't more...

Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "you know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee jumping service in Mexico." Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square.
As they are constructing the tower a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them work. When they had finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration. So Al jumps.
He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Joe isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces again and comes back up again. This time he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up. He's got a couple of broken bones and is almost more...

Ted and John wanted to get away from the countryside and see the world. One
day Ted said to his brother "You know, we could do really well setting up
our bungee-jumping service in Mexico".
John thought this was a great idea, so the two pooled their money and
bought all the equipment they needed.
They traveled to Mexico and began to set up a tower near the center of the
town for good publicity. As they began building the tower, a crowd
assembled nearby. Slowly more and more people gathered to watch them work.
They were excited at having such a big audience that Ted decided to jump
and show his prospective clients all about bungee jumping.
He bounced at the end of the cord. When he came back up, John noticed that
he had a few cuts and scratches. As he flew by, John asked if the cord was
too long. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to catch him. So Ted fell again,
bounced and came back up.
This time Ted was seriously bruised more...

Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico. They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine... but what the heck is a pinata?"

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: more...