Contributed Jokes

Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out some letters because of typo. SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen me. (I don't know what you are saying). Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to Singapore. Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken rice? I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road. PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road. Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just doesn't want chickens to cross the road. Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of the road and remain true Singaporeans. Ling How Doong - don't talk cock. Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road. PAP - You said more...

My penis contributed fifty thousand dollars to the Democratic National Committee.

Three friends went to a hotel. the bill was Rs 75/-

each one contributed Rs. 25/-.

the waiter took the bill to the cashier.

the cashier was happy & decided to give them a discount of Rs. 5/- & said the waiter to return them Rs. 5/-.

but he was confused how to distribute Rs 5 among 3 persons.

he kept Rs 2 in his pocket & gave one rupee to each one of the 3 persons.

so 1st each one contributed 25 Rs now as they are given 1 rupee back their contibution reduces to Rs 24.

they all contributed rs 24 that is 24x3=72 & 2 rupees are in the waiters pocket.

the total becomes 74 but they paid rs 75.

where is the remaining 1 rupee?.

"Hard drive" -
Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" -
1. Place to hang your truck keys.
2. Whare you're supposed to put da keys so da wife can find 'em.
"Window" -
Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" -
When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" -
1. How you got rid of your dandelions.
2. What you did to da hay fields last July. (from NetDummy Humor)
"ROM" -
Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -
First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" -
What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" -
Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" -
1. Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
2. What leaves those little turds in da more...