Consulting Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries.. But, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race. .. you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework. .. you're a pansy. If you work too hard. .. there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough. .. you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay. .. this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay. .. you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her. .. that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you. .. it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks. .. it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet. .. it's male indifference. If you cry. .. you're a wimp. If you don't. .. you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her. .. you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you. .. she's a liberated woman. If you ask more...

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries..But, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework... you're a pansy. If you work too hard... there's never any time for her. If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet... it's male indifference. If you cry... you're a wimp. If you don't... you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her... you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you... she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do more...

HR Consultant: "Here's my final consulting report on your company. I've listed all the dead-weight employees who should be fired."

Boss: "This is the company directory."

HR Consultant: "Finding that was a huge time-saver."

Why Men Can't Win
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt
and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, more...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
if you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self-defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, more...

OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE? Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be. The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering. The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many more...

IT'S NOT EASY BEING A GUYPity us men......... If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your but and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive jerk. If you thump her, it's wife bashing. If she thumps you, it's self defense. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you more...